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You don't even have to read between the lines to see that, despite Alinghi's sorry attempt at a cover up, the Coutts story has legs. "Russell remains in charge of sailing, but exact job titles have yet to be decided," Schopfer added. - Alinghi Spokesman Bernard Schopfer,third recipient of Sailing Anarchy's prestigious "Dumb-Ass Quote Award." Bernard Schopfer botched the attempted cover up yesterday when he gave the above quote to the French wire service AFP that got picked up by leading newspapers around the world. Exact job titles have yet to be decided? Come on Bernie. Coutts was THE MAN. He had been Alinghi's "Executive Director and Skipper" since the beginning. Now there has been a "slight adjustment" and "Grant Simmer is assuming some additional responsibilities" and Coutts is just "an Alinghi helmsman" and "exact titles have yet to be decided." Uh huh. We are damn proud here at SA that we were the first to break the story. The "real" journalists covering the America's Cup were too afraid to run with it even though many knew for months that Alinghi camp was not exactly ticking along like a finely-tuned Swiss watch. Lately Alinghi looks and sounds more like a Timex than a Rolex. And we are equally proud to award Sailing Anarchy's prestigious Dumb-Ass Quote Award, only the third ever, to Mr. Schopfer. 12/04/2003
There is a website called "Sports Hollywood" with a page of "The Dumbest Sports Quotes of All Time" (http://www.sportshollywood.com/dumbquotes.html). Check it out -- it will get a laugh out of even the most humourless of curmudgeons (nothing personal, Mr Leweck). Three of our favorites: "I
dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf." "Ah,
isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew." "I
am the most loyal player money can buy." More than a few Kiwis would probably also like to pin that last quote on Russell Coutts and Brad Butterworth. Future BlackHeart billboard material? Regardless, we can't decide whether to be pleased or pained that not one quote from our beloved sport has made it onto the list of the Dumbest Sports Quotes of All Time. God knows the America's Cup has been fertile ground. However, this may change with the quote in Wednesday's NZ Herald offered up by OneWorld flack and Cup newbie Bob Ratliffe (known around the Media Center as "Rat's Life").
Forget about BlackHeart billboards; this quote surely will make its way, super-sized like Dennis himself, onto the bulletin board at Team Dennis Conner's Base Camp. I mean, how stupid can you get? Not only does the quote motivate, aid and abet the opposition in their upcoming sudden-death playoff with Stars & Stripes, it is a tacit admission that OneWorld's design program is bankrupt -- that they have no more tricks up their sleeves -- and that OneWorld stands in awe and fear of Team Dennis Conner's recently rising fortunes. This has inspired us to institute the Sailing Anarchy "Dumb-Ass Quote Award" to celebrate the stupidest utterances by persons in our sport who should have known better, and we proudly bestow our first such award on Mr Ratliffe. Which brings us to our other favorite quote from the above-mentioned website: "I
don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it." 11/19/2002 |
