Everyone loves sailing porn with multi-million dollar yachts, professional crew, chase boats, mega sponsors and the like, but there is another side to racing that seldom gets the attention that it deserves: THE BACK OF THE FLEET.

For many sailors, winning is everything. Yes, winning is indeed the shit, but this needs to be put into perspective. Consider that most people who race sailboats are spending thousands and thousands of dollars for a $9 trophy and bragging rights at the yacht club bar. These are great but generally will not get you laid or score cool points with your non-sailing friends. Moreover, there is often a pervasive win-at-all-costs attitude that often saps the fun out of racing.

What this sport needs is an attitude adjustment. I’m not talking about plying your crew with alcohol after the race is over to apologize for being an obsessed dickhead on the course. Sailors simply need to make the FUN FACTOR a priority in their racing program. While you won’t win any races, you will have a dedicated crew, you’ll attract new sailors into the sport who would otherwise be intimidated by racing, and most likely you will get laid.

Now, the FUN FACTOR has been taken to the extreme aboard Keeldragger. Aboard Keeldragger, having fun at the back of the fleet has become a way of life. For those of you who are discouraged by your racing results or not enjoying yourselves enough, here are a few tips:

• Don’t Fret Over Your 4 Knot Shitbox. Old, slow boats are still cool.
• Recruit an Eclectic Crew. Get the craziest crew you can find. The entertainment is nonstop.
• Spend as much on crew gear as you do on new sails. Matching, custom crew shirts and pirate hats are required uniform. They inspire teamwork and really impress the girls at the waterfront Hooters.
• Break Glass In Case of Emergency. Go ahead and pop open a cold one during the race, you deserve it.
• Victory Celebration. Celebrate your victory after every race. If “victory” is defined as last place, take your crew to the yacht club bar and party like you just won the America’s Cup.
• Make Fun of Your Competition, But Laugh At Yourself First. Don’t take racing too seriously. Embrace self-deprecating humor.
• Roll the Cameras. Shitting driving and back of the fleet racing can be hilarious on video after the fact.

Have Fun!

Keeldragger

11/08/06